When Your Clothes Reflect Your Attitude
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A couple really important things are going on in the photos above. The first is that I'm wearing clothes I love. The second is that I feel like my clothes reflect my attitude.
For a long time I've dressed in a way that many people would describe as "girly". I've written about it before, and how it isn't exactly what I think my vibe is, but there's something very safe to me about dressing feminine in my fat body. Something that makes me feel less harsh, softer, more acceptable. Maybe if I wear this flowery dress people will be less offended by my aggressive demand to be treated like my body deserves to take up the space it holds. Perhaps a cute pastel combo will sway people into thinking my husband isn't living some sad life where he has settled for a fat girl with a bad attitude when they see us together. Or my cute pink lipstick will somehow soften my naturally authoritative voice.
What I've learned from dressing that way is that it does in fact work. When I dress in feminine clothing it actually does appear to make me more acceptably fat to some people. Great. Now I know, and I can move the fuck on. That was a super boring and tiring experiment to unknowingly put myself through, and I'm hoping I don't have to test that theory ever again. I can't dress for other people's perceptions anymore. There are too many clothes to wear and too many fun things to try on, for me to keep playing it safe. And that doesn't mean I never wear frilly flowery things ever again, it just means that I don't have to. I am releasing myself from being trapped in that mind frame.
Who would have ever guessed personal style could be filled with so many hang-ups?
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Black Jeans | Halter Top | Bag (similar) | Shoes | Choker
Man... there is so much depth to getting dressed in the morning.
I had, almost, this exact conversation in my brain. I really wanted to wear my Charlie Hustle, KC t-shirt (PS their 2x fits my usually 3-4x body perfectly if you're in the mood for one) and jeans today. But I'm working, which means that I'll be seen by more of the public and felt like I should wear a dress instead. There was a long "what the fuck" conversation in my head wherein I ended up going with the t-shirt and I even put on a flannel over top--decidedly un-girly. But I still couldn't figure out why it was that I had such a hang up about it.
Again--you put words on my feelings. As usual. 😉
Thank you! It took my mother-in-law to actually get me to let my personality out in my style. I am NEVER going back. Yeah, sometimes I dress "conservatively" with colors and style, but I'm happy being me. So glad you shared this!
I want that look. I love that look. Where did you find the confidence to wear that, completely slay, and just have the other attitude to let people know they can fuck off and you can wear what you want. I have plenty of clothes in my closet, adorable stuff from Torid, Lovesick, etc, but like you said, it's all soft and pretty...and covers everything they think I should cover. But dammit, I want to wear high wasted jeans and not give a shit that my gut looks less than society standards in them. I want to wear a halter and give my middle finger to anyone who stares at my mid drift. Teach me your ways of the slay, girl!
This is a great post and I like how comfortable you are in what you dress. I am a big girl too and sometimes big girls they feel that they can't dress how they want to dress because of people judging them which that shouldn't be the issue.
I'm loving that outfit! The bag and shoes together blow my mind. Keep it up; you are absolutely slaying. Wear whatever you want because it seems like you already know how to rock it, and in the process, I'll wear what I want too because I know how to rock it too! Body confidence is so important, and I love how you're spreading it all over the place. Thanks for helping a girl find her confidence. <3
Hey Corissa! I am new to your blog. You have hit the nail on the head. Unfortunately, we are bombarded 24-7 with what the ideal feminine form should look like that the simple act of putting on clothes can be daunting! You have the right idea. Dress the way you want. In the end, if people don't accept you, then you can tell them, "Bye, Felicia.!" They weren't worth the fuss anyway. Keep smiling.
<3 <3 <3
You're so beautiful!!
I hope others will continue to see the beauty in you .
I'm really new to your blog and your channel, but I just wanted to say that reading your posts and watching your videos has boosted my confidence level so much higher! Thank you so much for everything you do!! You're such an incredible inspiration to me. 😀
I sort of have the opposite inner dialogue when it comes to feminine clothing, having gone from wearing nothing but oversized graphic tees to wearing dresses and skirts. I kinda feel like in the past I'd been denying myself these options because I was too afraid of being noticed in any way. Now, having found cute options at places like Torrid, I finally feel like myself and I feel good wearing clothes that actually fit me! No matter what I wear, I always feel the most confident when I dress in what makes me feel good, rather than dress based on what I want other people to see and think about me.
I think a LOT of people are the same, and have kind of the opposite inner monologue!!! Same feelings, different expressions <3 thank you for reading!
Do what you want girl, you're looking gorgeous!????
You look fantastic and that is the bottomline... You would look like you feel... And the Diva that you are - The transition looks fantastic.
Love your page !
You look amazing and this post is inspirational because a lot of the time personal style has nothing to actually do with us. Thank you for making personal style all about ourselves and not pleasing others.
I honestly appreciate this article so much. You look great so you better keep slaying girl! can't nobody tell you how to look your best, but YOU.
You are simply a revelation!
you look fab. I love your hair I've tried to style my hair this way but I never looks as good as yours.
Boom! I love this site! I just wrote a post about the troubles that come with shopping for tall clothing. So much of the time I feel totally unfeminine because I can't find 'pretty' things in my size and it's really disheartening but you're saying everything I've been saying for years! Thanks for kicking ass and celebrating differences!
Love you blog!' Inspirational!! Just started mine and I'm really excited!!
I admire women who feel so comfortable and have so much self-confidence. Most of my clothes are black...probably because it's suppose to make me look thinner. But most is also over-sized. When I buy something, mostly tops, I would want the biggest size possible. Can't look too flattering. Like it would hide the fact that I am over-weight. My standard uniform is all black, over-sized clothing.
Great post! True meaning of being bold and loving who you are unapologetically!
Oh my gosh, I absolutely love this post, thank you for this! I was exactly the same, my personal style is a mix of girly with rock and roll, I'm all stompy boots and pleather jackets, and I do feel less 'acceotable' when I'm truly dressed for me, so thank you for this!