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Last week on facebook, I asked some friends how they would like me to refer to more conservative plus size clothing looks. I some times get requests to show more “mature” plus size clothing styles and this always confuses me because quite frankly I don’t know what that means. But I want people to be able to find what they need, so I asked my friends if perhaps I should start referring to some clothing I wear as “mature”. The overwhelming majority said “absolutely not! clothes are clothes no matter what your age!”. Thank goodness.
The next day I went out and photographed this look. I will admit, when I put it on I very seriously thought “oh my goodness I look like my mother!”. Clogs are something my sister and I have teased her about wearing for years, but oh the wisdom there is in a comfortable shoe. My sister and I both proudly wear very comfortable footwear these days. This shirt looks like something my mom would absolutely have in her closet, and I’m wearing the most comfortable pair of jeans on Earth.
I thought to myself “what is it about this outfit that makes me think it looks like something mom’s wear?” and I realized – it’s practical, comfortable, and adorable. And none of those things are negative, in fact they’re all incredibly positive. So why does the tone of the little voice in my head think that “dressing like a mom” is such a terrible thing? Well, we don’t have hours to talk about feminist theory or the invisibility that our society assigns aging women and mothers, but I think you all know exactly why being associated with “moms” is something that people assign a negative connotation to. Aging women are seen as less desirable than their younger counter parts by our culture, and this weekend I realized that I absolutely do not want to be part of that incredibly toxic way of thinking.
So I’m saying goodbye to the little judgmental voice inside my head that tells me dressing comfortably, beautifully, sensibly, is in any way less stylish than dressing in a mini skirt and heels. I’m doing away with any thoughts of what may designate a line between youthful and mature plus size clothing styles. I’m getting rid of my own perceptions about how women of certain ages “should” dress. I’m going to challenge my thoughts about aging and what it means to navigate this world in an older body.
And when that little voice inside my head says “Oh my goodness, you’re dressed like your mother!” I’m going to remind myself of these things. I’m going to think about the women who have raised me who I look up to. My mentors, and the people who have taught me the most about loving my body. And I’m going to firmly reply back “You’re God damn right, and I’m proud as hell!”.
What are you working on with your body positive journey right now? I love to hear where you’re at and what you’re going through!
You can check out an amazing haul from Gwynnie Bee featuring the shirt you see in this post, down below!
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Fat Girl Flow isn't about ONE person, it's about a community of kick ass people coming together to support, encourage, and love one another. What started as my personal journey to self love, quickly turned into something I never expected - life long friendships, understanding, and personal growth. We're all in this together <3