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Ugh! I’m Dressed Like My Mom!

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Last week on facebook, I asked some friends how they would like me to refer to more conservative plus size clothing looks. I some times get requests to show more “mature” plus size clothing styles and this always confuses me because quite frankly I don’t know what that means. But I want people to be able to find what they need, so I asked my friends if perhaps I should start referring to some clothing I wear as “mature”. The overwhelming majority said “absolutely not! clothes are clothes no matter what your age!”. Thank goodness.

The next day I went out and photographed this look. I will admit, when I put it on I very seriously thought “oh my goodness I look like my mother!”. Clogs are something my sister and I have teased her about wearing for years, but oh the wisdom there is in a comfortable shoe. My sister and I both proudly wear very comfortable footwear these days. This shirt looks like something my mom would absolutely have in her closet, and I’m wearing the most comfortable pair of jeans on Earth.

I thought to myself “what is it about this outfit that makes me think it looks like something mom’s wear?” and I realized – it’s practical, comfortable, and adorable. And none of those things are negative, in fact they’re all incredibly positive. So why does the tone of the little voice in my head think that “dressing like a mom” is such a terrible thing? Well, we don’t have hours to talk about feminist theory or the invisibility that our society assigns aging women and mothers, but I think you all know exactly why being associated with “moms” is something that people assign a negative connotation to. Aging women are seen as less desirable than their younger counter parts by our culture, and this weekend I realized that I absolutely do not want to be part of that incredibly toxic way of thinking.

So I’m saying goodbye to the little judgmental voice inside my head that tells me dressing comfortably, beautifully, sensibly, is in any way less stylish than dressing in a mini skirt and heels. I’m doing away with any thoughts of what may designate a line between youthful and mature plus size clothing styles. I’m getting rid of my own perceptions about how women of certain ages “should” dress. I’m going to challenge my thoughts about aging and what it means to navigate this world in an older body.

And when that little voice inside my head says “Oh my goodness, you’re dressed like your mother!” I’m going to remind myself of these things. I’m going to think about the women who have raised me who I look up to. My mentors, and the people who have taught me the most about loving my body. And I’m going to firmly reply back “You’re  God damn right, and I’m proud as hell!”.

What are you working on with your body positive journey right now? I love to hear where you’re at and what you’re going through!

Shirt | Jeans | Clogs | Hat (similar) | Bag

 

 

 

You can check out an amazing haul from Gwynnie Bee featuring the shirt you see in this post, down below!

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Miranda Nahmias

Thursday 11th of May 2017

What, why would anyone say you're dressed like your mom?!

Jess

Thursday 23rd of March 2017

I just found your site today, and I'm binge-reading everything. I love it! Thank you so much for sharing your style with the world!

I'm not just fat, I'm also really tall, so finding clothes that fit properly was horrible until just a couple years ago. I'm thankful for online retailers with extended sizes. I'm turning 35 in a couple months, and I think I've pretty much accepted my body is big and that's all there is to it. I try to keep things in perspective, I mean I'm healthy, happy, and (relatively) prosperous. I'm luckier than most people on the planet that are worried about the next meal for their kids and having any clothes at all to cover their bodies and sometimes not even somewhere to sleep at night. It makes stressing about being fat feel really dumb. But I'm human, and every so often I get wistful about being thinner, but I find I do that less if I'm dressing in a way that makes me feel beautiful. I'm glad I found your blog so I can get some more ideas!

fatgirlflow

Thursday 30th of March 2017

Thank you for being here!!!! <3

Karla

Thursday 23rd of March 2017

Not sure where else to put all this (instragram? youtube?) but anyway, here goes: THANK YOU, AND BLESS YOU, AND SO ON.

Truly, though. I've intellectualized body-positivity for a long time, go me (?), but connecting with these truths emotionally has been a much harder battle for me. Knowing I shouldn't be ashamed of my fat body, understanding the oppressive systems and power relations behind so much of why women with fat bodies (and all bodies outside the 'acceptable' norms, all genders, etc) are meant to be ashamed didn't stop me from FEELING, deep down, that I was less because I was fat. It didn't stop me from believing, underneath my well developed intersectional feminist shell, that I had to try to make myself acceptable with the right kind of flattering clothes, that I had to make up for my body by being extra smart, extra kind, extra everything in hopes I'd somehow get a pass on the being fat thing.

Finding your instagram, youtube, and blog has changed a lot for me. Connecting with this movement online, seeing so many different bodies represented and seeing people who LOVE themselves has made me feel it. It's made me want to be loud and to fight, and it's made me proud of myself and my body, and that's goddamn life changing. You helped inspire that in me, made it real inside in a new way. Your activism and humour and kindness has done wonders. Your video on diet culture shook something loose, I've felt lighter, braver, and happier with myself and what I've worked hard to believe and undo in my own thinking than I have likely ever. So thank you. From the bottom of my fat heart <3

fatgirlflow

Thursday 30th of March 2017

eeeek THANK YOU for reading!!!!! <3 xoxoxo

Neti

Saturday 18th of March 2017

First time here and I will be back to read more. . . I am an older gal and I love fashion just like when I was 20, but some items at F21 are just not my style, so I rarely shop there. But, you can catch me in some trendy clothes and even a crop top now and again. If you feel good in your clothes you will look good, no matter your age or size! Thanks for this post.

fatgirlflow

Tuesday 21st of March 2017

WELCOME!!!! Thanks for visiting! I agree if you feel good that's all that matters! <3

Laura

Monday 13th of March 2017

I always love the way you look you make me feel like if she looks that cute in something i must to!!! My big issue right now is age im a mom and i will be 35 this year i love fashion silver jeans are my fav torrid lovesick but im worried im getting to old for these sights im not worried about looking like a mom im worried whats beyond that and people not thinking i have a right to want to have fun stylish fashions its hard enough being plus sized and being judged but now i find my self worrying more about a few grey roots while trying to rock a pair of ripped up boyfriend jeans and fun accsessories then ido my weight i feel like there will always be judgment in the world of a female when does it ever end!!!!

fatgirlflow

Monday 13th of March 2017

You're probably right, and that's an even better reason for us to not care what people think! You have so much time to express yourself through fashion if you so choose I say wear what you want!!!! <3