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  1. Hi Corissa,

    I recently found your blog and so grateful I did! I have hated who I am because of my body my entire life. All I have ever wanted was to be happy and to be (feel) loved for the me I am right here right now. It’s a constant battle in my head. I overthink everything. I don’t feel like I can be open with my family about anything in my life. I’m afraid to talk, ask questions, share and get advice because I don’t want to be ridiculed or hurt for my feelings. So most of the time I’m stuck in my head. I used to feel trapped and thought my only way out and for peace was death. I grew up feeling like I was an embarrassment to my family. I still feel that way. I was fat. I felt bad because I was fat. Like being fat disqualified me from life. I never learned how to drive. I wish I was the same kid that had no fear. Taught myself how to ride a bike. Dared to climb an extension ladder to the second floor balcony of my room. Somewhere I gave up on me. I listened to all the bullshit of who they said I couldn’t be and believed it. I think I have met someone, but I’m afraid to 100% believe and trust. I want to put all my inhibitions aside and just enjoy the moment when we meet next week. I tell myself if he comes you can get to know him. If he doesn’t well then at least I will know. I do worry about hygiene. I don’t want to smell. In the past I always shower before I meet someone just so I’m sure I’m clean. It’s been a long while. In my mid 20’s I wanted to know if I could be loved by anyone. I was naive confusing sex with love. I hate what society teaches us about our worth as people. It makes me sad. I never wanted kids although I love kids, because I didn’t want them to feel like me. Thank you for your blog.

    1. @Marilyn, thank you for opening up and putting words to what you feel, that alone helps. I think if we acknowledge our feelings then it will help us figure out what we want and what we can do to put things together. It opens the path for better days. Tell yourself what you think you deserve and embrace it. If you think you deserve a love that is true and does not judge or humiliate and stand for it. Seek for it. If you love kids, dont be afraid to have one. Believe that you are capable to share the love and care that you have. Kids just need love and time. Everything will fall into place. Always remember that you are in the best place you can ever be. You are young, everyday is a chance to be hopeful and do something that you love. Happiness is within. Delight in small things and appreciate even just walking under the sun, feel its warmth. Prayers to you❤️

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