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Mandy sent me a text one night saying “look what I bought!” with an image of this super cute suspender skirt attached, and I immediately followed suit and purchased it. I think just about every plus size femme has a black skater skirt, and this is such a great little twist on the classic.
But this post isn’t so much about the skirt, as it is about the friendship (Mandy didn’t know that when she signed up for this!).
When I began my body positive journey a few years ago I had very few fat friends. In reality, I had almost none at all. I was surrounded by people giving me looks of “concern” when I would exclaim “I’m never going on a diet again! I’m going to love this body damn it!!!”. Nobody really tells you how important having support is going to be when you try and start loving yourself. Nobody tells you how many times you’ll have to cry in a bathroom when another family member tries to tell you about this great new diet they’re on. Nobody tells you your friends will be critical when you try to start wearing clothes that may not be “flattering”. Nobody tells you that people may think you’re a bad influence because you’re ok with what they presume as being “unhealthy”. Nobody tells you how alienating all of this can be.
We all need to believe in our values and have people who share those values. Our support systems are critical to our growth as people. But we go through this self love journey believing we’re all on our own. Not wanting to force our beliefs on other people, or worried that we might sound too radical, scared that people won’t stick around because we’re not adhering to these societal norms anymore. It’s really tough. And when I met Mandy (and the third in our trio, Cydney) I finally found the validation and support I had desperately needed. Here’s the cool part- I’ve never met either of them. We talk every day and we’ve become best friends. They’re so important to me, and such an integral part of my healing process.
If you’re struggling to find people you can connect with who want to be supportive of your body positive journey, please do not be too hard on yourself. Sometimes there aren’t people in our lives who we can lean on when we start our self love journey. Follow body positive instagram accounts (like ChubbyCartwheels, VirgieTovar, RadicalBodyLove), join fat positive facebook groups, reach out to people in your community that may be in the same boat. Try and remind yourself that your values are worthy of respect and consideration.
You’re doing amazing things, and you should be super proud of yourself.
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Fat Girl Flow isn't about ONE person, it's about a community of kick ass people coming together to support, encourage, and love one another. What started as my personal journey to self love, quickly turned into something I never expected - life long friendships, understanding, and personal growth. We're all in this together <3